Too late for the holidays;
Probably in time for Inauguration Day;
Almost certainly in time for the impeachment
It’s the online retail store you didn’t know you were hoping to discover. Not since the debut of Click & Clack’s “Shameless Commerce Division” have NPR types witnessed such an exciting virtual ribbon-cutting extravaganza. Bachblog is pleased to announce the grandiose opening of its very own
Feel free to imagine a star-studded ceremony featuring free hot dogs and root beer, face painting for the kids, a juggler, an enormous flagellating wind-sock likeness of Uncle Sam, and a surprise appearance on stage by a supergroup comprised of the surviving members of the Beatles and Queen.
What really sets Bachpress apart from such soon-to-be-vanquished online competitors as Zappos, Amazon, and El al Bean is that all of its profits will go to charity. (For all of the unemployed math majors out there, that’s 100% of its profits!)
Initial offerings are based on three original designs (and a fourth that is strictly hush-hush; see below if you dare). Here they are:
These designs are available right now at my CafePress.com store, cleverly named Bachpress. In the image at the top of this page, I’m wearing a T-shirt lovingly crafted by the artisans employed by CafePress (click on the image to enlarge). I’m quite pleased with the finished product–it’s a quality, heavy cotton shirt and the design is well-printed and appropriately-sized.
Profits from merchandise featuring any of the designs above will go to the American Civil Liberties (ACLU). Profits from one item currently for sale (hush-hush) will go to a different worthy organization (item descriptions will always include a clear reference to charities supported).
A variety of producs (not just clothing) is already available at the store and more will be added at irregular, unpredictable intervals. Visit now and anytime you find yourself drunk and in the mood to spend small amounts of money. You’ll feel good about the contributions, at least.
I hesitate to mention this last sale item, because the technical and scientific term for it is, in fact, ladies’ unmentionables. Therefore, please keep the following information quiet–consider it to be just between us.
All profits from the sale of this cheeky number will go to Mike Pence’s favorite women’s health organization, Planned Parenthood.
CafePress specifies “women’s” for these, but as far as we are concerned they are unisex. Sumo wrestlers wear something similar. Additionally, they might well function as either a poorly-protective jockstrap or an attention-grabbing slingshot.
You will just have to trust me to make the donations I say I will, though if anything actually sells I will find a way to self-report here.
The profit from my markup on each item I sell (generally from $1 to $3) comes to me. Periodically, I will make the appropriate donations to the identified charities.
I am NOT registered in any way, anywhere as a charitable organization or foundation. You will NOT receive a tax break for purchasing my products.
There is no cost to me, or anyone else, to setup and sell through CafePress.com (henceforth, “the corporate overlord”). As corporate citizens, they seem to be okay and they employ a lot of people in Louisville, Kentucky. They buy materials, manufacture and ship goods, handle e-commerce pieces and liability. I’m sure they make a tidy profit. It’s just my pitiful markups that will go to charity.
If you find any of the specified charities worthy, the BEST way to support them is through your direct donations.
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